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The word infertility can bring devistation to couples, desiring a child. The dream of marriage, home, and family is instilled in all of us. A diagnosis of infertility may present itself as a final barrier, when in fact, it could give direction to an opportunity. I can personally assure you, adoption can fullfill your dream. The inability to have chidren, could become a blessing that unites you with an adopted child. Facing infertility can leave you feeling cheated, angry, and asking, why has this happened to me? In dealing with these emotions, you will eventually reach a point of decision. You may accept your family as it is, or choose to find your child, through adoption. I sincerely hope you choose the latter. There are so many children that need a good home, and the love of a family. Adoption is not an easy process, it requires persistence and continued hope. Realize, there may be periods of dissappointment and frustration with the time spent, waiting for the gift of a child. Exercise patience and make sure you have done everything possible, to improve your chances.
Get all of the information you can on adoption. Check with your social service agency. The Department of Public Welfare can provide useful resources. Inquire about state adoption programs and intercountry adoption. They also have information on parent groups, that can put you in touch with others that are seeking to adopt, or have succeeded in adopting. A parent group is a wonderful resource and support system. Make sure there is community awareness in your desire to adopt. Inform your church, your neighbors, and friends. It is possible your need will reach an expecting mother, searching for a family to adopt the child, she has concieved. Word of mouth can be helpful, and if a member of your community has knowledge of an opportunity, recommending you to parent a child, this may impress this individual enough to approach you. This would be an independent adoption, and would require the assistance of a qualified attorney. Hopefully, you already have an attorney you can trust, if not, get recommendations. Ask other adoptive parents, or ask for a referral from the local and state bar associations. Be aware, the birthmother may change her mind and keep the baby. This is an unforunate risk, but also consider if the adoption if completed, you will at last have a baby to love.
Another alternative is an adoption agency. A public adoption agency has the responsibility of placing older childen, and children with special needs. They are obligated to focus on their placement. The list for adopting a baby will most likely be closed, or have a long waiting period. States issue license to private or volunteer agencies, they can offer foreign adoption programs. These agencies may have a religious name, but this does not necessarily mean they only serve that religion. Inqiure at these agencies, if considering foreign adoption, this is the contact you should make. They also offer adoption in the United States, but may not be accepting applications. Foreign adoption is most likely open. I encourage you to explore this alternative. It has disadvantages, travel to the country may be required, tons of paperwork, and it could be expensive. The advantages are, a greater chance of your application being accepted, and a speedier adoption process. Children born to unforunate cicumstances can be given the chance to thrive, when adopted by American families. There is so much satisfaction in knowing, you have made a difference in the life of a child.
Approach adoption openly, exploring all possibilities. Realize waiting is part of the adoption process. Keep busy, and spend this time preparing for the arrival of your child. Read about adoption and parenting, and consider getting involved in an adoptive-parent group. Explore the possible needs your adoptive child might have, the need to understand where they came from, the need to know about adoption. I strongly believe honesty is the best choice. Decide how you will answer your child's question. Use the word adoption in your home from the beginning, the interest and curiosity the adoptive child experiences is natural. This i nformation should not be revealed to your child in one instance, but shared throughout their life. Good luck in your search, and may God bless you with the child you desire.
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